Waiting

I have been waiting almost 16 weeks to go on my mission. Do you know how long that is? I for sure do, I remember almost every moment, experience that has happened in the last 4 months. Heavenly Father has been trying to show me, and teach me so much and I thank him every day for what he has taught me. He has taught me that I am strong, independent, loving, kind, patient (as much as I didn't think so) and beautiful. Heavenly Father has never made anything that was disgusted, hateful, angry, ugly, or weak.

In my opinion we choose to be that way, by situations we are placed in or otherwise. We choose how we look at ourselves. For the longest time I saw myself as ugly, disgusting, unlovable, and in turn I hated everything. But this last 16 weeks, I have been able to come closer to my Savior, use the Atonement in a way I have not experienced. Our Savior didn't just die for our sins, he died for our sorrows, our heartaches, our losses, our weaknesses. I am thankful every day for that. I am thankful that Heavenly Father has taught me patience and continues every day to teach me patience.

My family and friends are also the reasons why I am where I am. I am so thankful for them and will miss them so much. My mom bought a little sign to put in our kitchen that says the following:

Mis-sion-ar-y: (mish-uh-ner-ee)

-noun Someone who spends

time away from loved ones so

others can spend eternity with theirs.

I think she was inspired to get this! haha It for sure has helped me get some perspective on things. I have been terribly nervous the last week or so and panicking about going on a mission. I am worried I will space talking to an investigator, or I will say the wrong thing, or not know the answers... But my parents helped me realize... I know it, I have read the Book of Mormon, grown up going to Primary, Young Womens, Young Single Adults, as much as I don't think I paid attention the last 20 years of my life, not everything bounced off me. My testimony is going to be the most powerful asset that I have.

I know my Father in Heaven loves me, I know that I am a daughter of my Heavenly Father and I know he lives. I know my Savior died for my sins and my sorrows, my weaknesses and my downfalls. I know that I am never alone, I know that the Book of Mormon is true. I know that Joseph Smith saw God the Father and Jesus Christ in a grove of trees in New York. I know he restored this church and I know that it is true. I know the power of the Priesthood is real. I have felt it in my own life and seen it in the lives of others. I know that we can become clean from ANYTHING. I know that our Father doesn't remember anymore once we have. I know because I have lived it. I know that the Temple is the house of the Lord, I know that he walks in those halls. I know that prayer is our way to talk to our Father, I know he listens, and I know if we read the scriptures we will be able to have the answers to those prayers. Our Father is a loving Father, and he will never leave us without the answers to the questions we have, all we need to do is ask! I know for a fact also that what we want is not always what our Father in Heaven wants for us, and that in his own due time, we will be able to find the answers to all that we seek. And yes sometimes we need to go on Faith, which is a hard thing for me. BUT I know that if we have faith, and trust in our Lord and Savior, anything is possible.

I love this gospel and am so blessed to have the opportunity to be able to teach it to the people of Washington. I hope I will be able to have the strength and love for them, and I know that with my Fathers help I will be able to do all he has asked of me. I cannot wait for the next 3 weeks to go by so I can be in the MTC, set apart as the Lords messenger to proclaim this gospel to his children, and I pray I will be able to do right by him.